finding satisfaction in the beauty of holiness

• When I Think About The Lord-Shane and Shane
• How Great Is Our God-Chris Tomlin
• Give Us Clean Hands-Charlie Hall
• Father Will You Come-Unhindered
• I Am Free-Unhindered

This week we will be back with a full band again. I’m really excited to rock it up and have a good time in the Lord this Sunday. Hope your ready too!

When I turned thirty, it was hard. I was told that thirty is the new twenty so it made me feel a little better. But not much. In just a few days I will be turning thirty-two. Today, I felt that feeling come back again, that said, “Hey, you’re getting older but your not getting any closer!” Closer to what you may ask.

You see when we’re at those pivotal ages like 18 or 21 or were starting something new in our life we get asked that wonderful question.

Where do you see yourself in five years, in ten years.

Well, ten years ago I was playing in a really cool band called Lyrical Jenius. We were playing quite a bit and working on a second cd. My future looked like I was gonna be on stage the rest of my life and the crowds would just get bigger and bigger as the years go by. People would look at me and ask questions cause I was well into having plenty of experience in the music world and living the dream of a rock star. Or about as big a dream gets being a Christian rock star.

Today, I am a worship leader playing in a venue that allows people to fight for fun and the crowds are as small as they get. I make very little money and I’m not sure whether people look to me for answers and want my autograph. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy where I am at but I look back at where I was and wonder where did the road fork at? How did I get from the road of becoming a rock star to the road of becoming a servant, from the road of becoming somebody to the road of ‘who is that guy?’

I see on t.v. that 90% of all the stars on there are way younger than I am. Most all sports players are younger than I am. I’m almost to my 20 year reunion from high school and I’m thinking where was that fork. And why didn’t I see it coming when it did.

I am happy with where I am at but this is not what I visualized ten years ago when asked where would I be. It’s hard to say if I would change anything. But I think there are some things I would change. I would have probably tried harder to seek out the music business. I would have followed my dream even though they did have high costs.

But now, I wonder. Where am I gonna be in ten years. My dream has changed. It’s no longer the rock star but the servant star. I want to be full-time ministry so I can serve more than I do. I want to be playing in front of a thousand worshipers because I know when I step off that stage, they are not asking for my autograph. People will ask me questions like, why do you care about me so much? What’s in it for you to do for me? I am the one asking questions like, “What can I do for you off the stage?”

But I’m getting older and I don’t like it. Every year that passes, I see myself close to the age of not being able to lose weight, having a flabby neck, wrinkles on my face, wearing converse shoes cause it’s the only thing that makes me cool with the kids. I look at washed up musicians playing wherever they can and I think to myself,  if not already there, I’m only ten years away from that. Where will I be in ten years? Looking back I’m sure doing the exact same thing I’m doing now. Trying to put my thoughts together on getting old and trying to make sense of my crazy mumblings.

Somebody tell me you will love me when I’m older and I have nothing to give. For my fingers will hurt too bad to play guitar. My mind will forget too much to remember your name of the lyrics to a song. My back will hurt too much to help you move something. My feelings will hurt too much because kids will call me old and washed up and crazy.

Yep. I’m turning 32.

“Church, your messed up! Your terrible. You claim many different things about God and your confusing people.  Some folks are going to Hell cause you can’t get your story straight. What is the matter with you. Is there not ‘one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all?’ How are you exemplifying this? You are hypocrites for teaching something that you don’t live. Prostitutes of the spirit! “

This morning, I had an opportunity to talk with a lady who has a beautiful spirit about her. These were the very emotions going through me as she spoke about how two different denominations that she had tried to attend had such differing views about certain scriptures that she is so confused, she feels Hell bound because she doesn’t know what to believe.All this she spoke through tears to me.

Oh yeah, it all lies on the once saved always saved, and predestination. I have often told my pastor that I hate biblical theology. I really do. Because in order to make an understanding in biblical theology, you have to read into the scripture. Some scriptures are just not plain. They didn’t just come out and say what they meant. Alot of scripture is left up to interpretation and this is where we build our differing doctrines. This is where we mess up. One church will say it MUST be this way angering another church who disagrees. This is not unity. This is not the unity that Jesus prayed for us in John 17:20-21-

“I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word;

²¹that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.”

My heart sat there and broke as she shed tears in front of me because she didn’t understand that if some are predestined to go to Heaven, then that must mean some are predestined to go to Hell and she fears that she might be one of them going to Hell. I tried to comfort her and reassure her that if there were any conviction whatsoever in her heart about that, she can be sure that God is calling on her and that she is not predestined to go to Hell.

I have the same questions. My pastor once opened my eyes to predestination and I’ll be honest. I done alot of studies, and I almost agree with predestination, however, I am not fully convinced. I am unsure.

She asked me about once saved always saved and she mentioned that one time in her life, she accepted Christ but had turned from him and had walked away from him. I tried to reassure her that once saved always saved is not necessarily true. I don’t believe in the phrase, “You can LOSE your salvation.” Freewill allows us to give it up, but lose it? NO! You can’t lose something your trying to keep, but screw up every once in a while. Where’s the grace in that?

CHURCH! We have got to stop basing our church doctrines on scripture that leaves ideologies out in the open for interpretation! Sure, these are biblical ideas, but they are so left open to interpretations they can’t be agreed on and we’re saying, “You can’t worship here if you disagree with this doctrine”.

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but through me.” Paul said, “Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and you shall be saved.”

Bottom line folks. We need Jesus and we he wants our hearts. Not our good deeds. Not our aching desires. Not our feeble attempts. Just simply our hearts. What are you giving your heart to? That’s all he wants. For by grace through faith we are saved. Not by works so that no man may boast! Man, that my friends is grace. And that is what we need to base our church doctrines on. I don’t care if your Baptist, Church of God, church of Christ, Methodist, Presbyterian, Assemblies, Catholic. It doesn’t matter to me. Are you preaching JESUS!? That’s the only thing that matters.

We need to be unified! For the Christs name sake, we need to straighten our act up, come together, become unified. Forget all this music in the church crapola, whether speaking in tongues and prophecy still exists, how often we take communion, reserved worship or excited worship. Petty arguments is making us (Christians) look like idiots to the world. IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you think they love this Jesus we talk about but hate our churches?

***SIGH***

What’s UP! That was a cool song back in the 90’s by 4 Non Blondes. Anyway, I have been working on my newest cd and 5 songs are just about completed. However being a leader at Xtreme Ministries has used up a huge portion of my time that my personal music has been out on the back burner.

I took some time away from the project cause  I wanted to pray about the direction in which this cd is heading and pray for more inspiration on writing 3 more songs to make it and 8 song cd. During this time I have been writing alot of music and lyric ideas have been going crazy. I’m kinda beginning to wonder about my lyricism cause everything I put down just sounds cheesy and cliche.

One song I am really stoked about is taking me forever to write cause I want it to be perfect. Most songs that I write just come out real quick but this one is being stubborn. It’s gonna be called You Are to Die For.

So keep this project in your prayers cause when it’s finally finished, it’s gonna hit some hearts pretty hard with alot of the linguistics I use. It’s gonna challenge out traditional thought process and make you think about what are we doing to expand the Kingdom of God in our own lives and not just leaving it up for the pastorate to do!

This is For the Least, Last, and Lost.

Here’s a video of me recording. But you have to have a facebook account to see it.

I didn’t upload it to you tube so the only existence of it is on facebook where you can’t link it or embed it.

Today I pulled up to a lady’s house to do a termite inspection on her house. I noticed that in the back field she had a barn where they were firing some tobacco. I would not have been able to have a conversation about this had it not been for our education at The Homeplace in Dover last weekend. You can see pics here.

So we talked a little while about the farm and she informed me that Tobacco had been raised on that farm for over 100 years and that her land was given to her family as a land grant for immigrants. It was kinda cool to hear about her family and she continued on that she really didn’t do too much of the work around there but that they had a hired hand named Scotty.

She talked about how they pay with different percentages of the crops grown and sold and she just kept saying Scotty this, Scotty that. And every time she would say Scotty, I just had that scene from Austin Powers-Gold Member where Dr. Evil was barraging Scotty for not liking chocolate.  Every time she mention Scotty’s name, I just wanted to say Scotty ne pas!