finding satisfaction in the beauty of holiness

    Everyday I run about a mile after work. (That’s about all I can handle without passing out!) Today as I was running, I was entertained by all walks of life. You see, I forgot my i pod at home and so I had to run with no music. Just the sound of my shoes hitting the pavement in beat with the birds chirping.

About two minutes into my run, I met the lady who is always speed walking. She glanced at me with a smile so I said hi. Of course she didn’t hear me cause unlike my scattered braininess, she remember her radio. So, a typical passer-by wave was in effect. That’s about a far as our relationship goes, a split second greeting!

After I run, I usually walk all the way back to the truck to cool down. (I need it) I saw a woman sitting in her lawn chair down by the creek with a simple radio and a cup of coffee. What was she doing, I thought to myself. Is she meditating? Was she drawing something. I didn’t see a book of paper and a pencil. Is this her daily quiet time. What was she thinking. Is this her time to relax from a hard days work? I don’t know. I wished I had the time to just sit by the water and listen to it trickle down stream and watch the geese as they fight.

Yes I said fight. As I was passing over the foot bridge, I heard a lot of squawking. So I turn around to see a goose chasing about five others. I could imagine him saying, “This is my space. You are invading my personal bubble squawk squawk.”  I thought it was great. I was enjoying my walk for sure. On down the trail, I watched two birds chasing each other.

As I was rounding the last curve, I saw a man sitting on a bench. Across the creek is the city jail with very small windows for each cell. He was waving towards that way.  He would wave about four times and then blow a kiss. Who was he waving at. Was it a wife? Was it a girlfriend? I’m not sure. But he was dedicated. Enough to say, “I’m here waiting for you when your released. I haven’t forgot you. I love you.”

All this in a days run, these are the signs of life!!!!

I umpire little league baseball through April and May. It’s pretty good money but sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. I love baseball. I love it. But coaches and parents can make you wonder just how much you dig it. I think the biggest thing is they do not, and I mean DO NOT read the rule book. And so they think they know all the rules when they haven’t even looked at one. I guess they think they know the rules that they went by when they were kids. But my how the times have changed.

Just the other night I had a coach throw a fit about a call I made and so he was tore up for three complete innings. He even said he had 16 people that agreed with him. So during the half of an inning, my partner and I counted all the people on the bleachers and there wasn’t even 10. So where 16 people came from, I’m not sure. Anyway, after the third inning he proceeded in bringing out the rule book to show him where the rule was that we were stating.

I came so close to throwing him out. God has really showed me so much patience with people. This I am glad for. Yet it is a vise of mine as well. I get so angry cause I can’t do what the flesh asks me to do. God’s commands are bitter-sweet. I take repletion in the idea that I can keep and small portion of them, yet I cringe at the thought of breaking just one. More so after it has been broken. The shame is overbearing.

So I stayed patient and God rewarded me. No, the coach didn’t walk off cause I wouldn’t agree with him, which would have been more of a blessing. Yet, I had the privilege to show him he was wrong. After the game, we showed him in the rule book how he had missed the idea of the rule. Case solved.

He ruined my night. He ruined the kids night, and he ruined his night simply cause he didn’t read the rule book. I could go into this long legalistic view of how we don’t read God’s rule book and it screws up our live. But I’m not that stupid, to call the bible a book of rules. It definitely guides us, but to consider it a rule book is totally eccentric.

So I think I have a small increment of knowledge of how God feels, seeing He can sometimes be the ultimate “umpire” and we don’t play fair. and to use the whole idea that life is a game is a bit ludicrous as well. So let me back off from this analogy because it’s getting a bit comedic. I think you get my point though.

Read God’s word, apply it, and don’t argue with the umpire cause He’s not gonna change his call anyway.

I have found the coolest place nearest my home. It’s in Columbia Tn. A place where the java is hot and the web is accessible. Everything I need to set my heart at ease. Right now as I sit at Siberia, I’m checking my Myspace, and drinking a caramel macchiata. I am seriously in heaven. At least the form of a heaven only earth can supply.

Another thing in my life that I have gripped onto that defines who I am. A coffee drinking, book reading, music lovin, contemporary thinking, non-gay Jesus freak kinda dude. I have my feminine side, but I am definitely dude all the way.

So it’s now time that I must leave this oasis, and get back to my life in the norm. This is my escape, but my escape must escape me now. So…

Yesterday, my wife and I went to the Tennessee Renaissance Festival. I’ve been going since I was sixteen. I am now almost thirty. I have yet to understand what exactly draws me to the festival when to be actually honest it doesn’t get all that better. It’s ok. But it used to be really great, but the reason could be that I was in my teens. And it just felt like a different world. Different from that under the same roof of my parents. You know sixteen yr. olds are.

So I like to people watch. One thing the festival does is it makes it ok to stare at people. I think people dress weird cause it gives them a chance to be someone their not in a place where everyone is a little unique in their own way.

The price has definitely change since 13 years ago. From like 8 dollars to 17 dollars. So Carrie and I went from doors open to doors close. If I’m gonna pay that much, I’m gonna stay all day even if their’s not anything to do but sit down and watch weird people stroll by.

Do I suggest anyone to go. Absolutely. I think it’s a great experience. I think it’s alot of fun. Pack a wad of money when you go cause it’s expensive to get in and expensive to eat and expensive to buy anything. So go. And don’t stare at the multitudes of cleavage or get lost in the multitudes of bellybuttons.

Money confuses me. I think I am really starting to understand when Jesus said that the love of money is the root of all evil. Simply put is, money can get you anything you want. It is the access to monetary satisfaction. If you have enough, you can be momentarily satisfied.

Shockingly, I am not a big fan of money. Don’t get me wrong, I like it. I like stuff. But I don’t sit around trying to dream up ways to get it. I have some christian friends who make wonder. I really think they sit around and dream about it. So I get ridiculed for not being that way. I also get threatened by those who have control over how much money I can make at my job.

“Well if it’s not that important to you, we’ll just take away any opportunity for commissions and give them to someone else.”

I think their missing my point. I need money. I want money. I just don’t fantasize about it. If I can get it, fine. If I can’t, fine. But I’m tired of being thought less of because my world doesn’t revolve around it.