Is God Fer Real????
These are the moments when you ask God, “Are You fer real?” Honestly guys. Lets get on a real level here. No fantasy god-escapes. No McDreamy fantastical lives. How many of us truly ask God persistently to manifest in situations to see no fruition of mercy?
Really !! This is where I stand. Almost 3 months of sinus problems after 30 years of no sinus problems and there seems to be no end in site. And I’m sure by far that God is tired of hearing about it at 4:00 in the morning when my nose seems to gasp for breath which is a feat within itself taking in consideration the magnitude of the size of my nose.
No answered prayers so far so it seems. Misery loves company and it has made me it’s new best friend. I’m tired. Tired of asking God to help. Tired of medications. Tired of not being able to breathe. Tired of nasaly singing. I’m tired guys.
I stand here with the purest of adoration for my maker. I stand here with the most honest of inquisitions to say why won’t you heal if you are the “ultimate healer”? I stand here on my knees with the most humble of all beggars to ask “what is your purpose and why won’t you reveal it to me”?
You want honesty from a rooted christian who sometimes doubts his faith and his maker? You got it. I am as transparent as it comes. Vulnerable with my heart on my sleeve. Where is God when it seems that I’m hurting and He’s not listening? I believe He’s here. I believe He’s hurting as much as I am. I believe it hurts to see me (his child) hurt. I believe He has great motives for allowing suffering in our lives.
He hurts. I hurt. Thank God for a God who is far more smarter than I.Thank God for a God who know what I need more than I do, yet it hurts to allow me to have some things I need to make my faith grow. Funny how He allows things to happen so that they may have an opposite yet altering affect on you.
I’ve told God that if I’m suffering for a cause greater than I, I would appreciate it if He’d let me in on the plan. But I don’t guess that’s gonna happen. I’m miserable. And my joy… It seems to be fading. But maybe… just maybe somewhere deep in the middle of my suffering, I can find a new and rewarding moment to boost my joy factor. I still praise Him. I still love Him. I still adore Him. I’m just joyless at the moment. Has it been stolen. Slightly! I know that soon or later, it will return to me.
Till then I will boast in a God that blows my imagination, consumes my inquiries, baffles my mind, gives me peace that I can’t understand.
He is truly GOD!!!
