Lack of posts can be chalked up to stress. At least that’s my story and I’m gonna try to stick to it. So let me name a few reasons that the stress bug has been a pest that I can’t seem to kill.
1. Home- While this was on my mind, Carrie had yet to find a job. A thousand resumes and applications and a few phone calls back and nada, niente, nothing, zilch, zero, zip! BUT, (Behold the Ultimate Truth) today Carrie got a phone call and today they hired her as she walked in the door. So stress level has gone down… a tad. But before that, Carrie was really starting to get cabin fever and the lack of funds has definitely caused a stretch crack in the bank account. Needless to say though, the church has taken amazing care of us, given us money, gift cards and even taken us out to dinner numerous times to make sure we had our bellies full. In some way, I have actually gained a couple of pounds.
However, with the reception to the TV sucking, and the winter keeping the house cold and the bills rising, it’s been tough. The Lord has sustained us to say the least. It’s been tough to live in a rental, away from family, and in a neighborhood where the neighbors look crazy shady. So the home front has been crazy but hopefully it will get better.
2. Work-Oh yeah, what a biggie. Lesser pay, more work, and harder work at that. I would give to go back to A-1 if only for the work. The guys and gals I work with are crazy awesome, but the work sucks. I could go into details but you wouldn’t understand the ins and outs of the job per se. Today we had a year end meeting and they want me to do sales. I am totally not a seller. I hate sales. But this year, I have to at least sale $5000 worth of pest control. I know it’s not much. But it’s the sales part I don’t like. I’m debating going and getting my wood destroying insects license so I can get a little more money on my paycheck. But I work for salary and I’ve never done that. I get paid basically by the job and I’ve never done that. So it’s definitely a stretch in the work dep’t.
3. Church- I love my church. I love everyone I go to church with. Let me say this up front in case anybody from church reads this “It’s not you, It’s me”. I know. So cliche. But it’s true. Here’s the dirt. I am used to a church where I was a “leader” and I was a worship leader that said all things right. I really felt like I knew how to lead that congregation in worship. I played with a semi-pro band that knew how to play their instruments VERY well. And the music was VERY full. Now I only have a drummer and struggling to find a bass player to make it a three piece. And I feel I have been stripped down to a student again. Where I was looked upon to make decisions and highly regarded to subject matter, I have fallen to be a learner again. Which is not all a bad thing. But it does suck!
At Xtreme, I sometimes feel lost. I haven’t learned the people very well. I’m trying, really I am. However, the church has a totally different personality. The church has a totally different feel. There are songs that doesn’t fit at this church. I think this happens at every church. Every church has a different personality and feel. You have to take each church where they are at and use the songs that fit that church or write some that will fit. So Xtreme can’t necessarily worship with all the same songs that Lifesong could.
I come from a church that had a nice sanctuary with near 400 people to a church where we meet in a coffee shop with 2 services and the first service might have 15. But the other service is too packed. So it’s definitely different. Lifesong was a church of worshipers and Xtreme is a church of worshipers that hasn’t figured out how to express it yet. The church is growing, slowly but growing. This is where I need patience.
4. Life in Clarksville-Traffic sucks. LITERALLY. I have seen more wrecks here than I have in my lifetime. Even had to wait on the cop at one cause I actually witnessed it. Army life is interesting. There are plenty of military people here to see the life they live. Definitely different. I have everything I ever wanted within five minutes of my house but no money to enjoy them. A coffeehouse for java and writing atmosphere. Three bookstores with no money to buy a book. Some of my favorite restaurants. Hmm. Cool places to sing but I can’t do that just yet. I’ll get to that in a moment. Cool places to go but it’s been to cold to go.
5. Music/Artistry- I have my own cd to push. I have my own music to sing. I have my own agenda to sell. And God says NO!!!! I can’t find time to practice, write, or just sing. I am too wrapped up in trying to study for work, trying to study for my theology classes on Saturdays, and trying to put together a decent worship set for Sundays. Man, I just can’t find time to work on my own material. I got some great musical ideas but don’t have time to work on them. I feel guilty all the time cause my beautiful wife works hard around the house and I do nothing. She cooks, cleans, washes, feeds-does it all. And I am so thankful for such a wonderful wife.
6. Writing-I am trying to write a book called When Dogs Howl. It has a great premise but I can’t find time to write it. I dabble at it and have finished the rough draft of seven chapters. I’m working towards 21-25 chapters. But I am so wrapped up in trying to take care of other things, writing has basically been set to the side.
7. weight loss-I use to love going to the gym. Now, my church actually has one in the back of the building and it’s free. I can’t find the time to go. I feel fat. My blubber is hangin over my jeans. I use to be fit and had a six pack. Now, I have a keg. Sometimes, I wonder how my wife can love me and all my jiggle. But she’s way better than that thank God. But I really seriously need to lose 25 pounds.
8-Original Limu/Blu Frog-This is our home based business. You can check these things out at www.discoverlimu.com/riner and www.BluFrogEnergy.com/riner. If you have ever owned a business before, then you know where I’m coming from. If you haven’t I’ll give you the chance. Holler at me or just get signed up on the websites.
So… I will say, my mind has so much going on that I can’t think straight and I’m wiggin out. So please forgive me for the lack of posts around here. Hopefully, it will get straightend out soon.
