Yahweh's Song

I’ve been leading worship at Xtreme Ministries for almost 2 years now. I have had two occasions in my time as being a full-fledged Worship Leader at a church that has made me cry weep. Both occasions came when a member of the worship team left church. I tend to be a crybaby at times anyway like crying five different times while watching Titanic, crying during a song on the radio that just happens to hit at the right time,  crying every time my dad tells me he loves me. I can be a crybaby.

But very few times do I weep. I wept when I left my last church Lifesong Family. I wept when my best friend left the worship team there. I wept during a play called Heaven’s Gates, Hell’s Flames. I’ve wept. Now there are two occasions at Xtreme where I have wept over similar experience; a member of the worship team that I have had the privilege to lead and worship with, to encourage and  exhort leaving the church. These are people who I have fought with over music ideas and loved through hard times in their life.

Unfortunately one person left on bad terms through anger with me and the other is deploying overseas to fight for my freedom and serve his country!

It’s hard to know that someone who you have spent much time with worshiping together leaves under misunderstandings and that no matter what you say, you cannot change their thoughts of who you are. They don’t trust you and they are very argumentative of you. The very mention of your name puts a sour taste in their mouth. I don’t like that. It hurts to know that only God can change their heart and you can’t. That is why I weep.

It’s good to know that one of your members is leaving to be a fighter of freedom. Something I never did and am ashamed to know boys are going over seas to fight for my country that I never did myself. The courage and honor they have for their fellow countrymen to offer up their own lives to keep a great country great is humbling! That is why I weep.

Both instances I have embraced. I have learned how not to treat someone and how to love. I have stepped into the trenches of life with those I lead in ministry and helped where I could, gave advice when called upon (even in the wee hours of the night), and loved through that hard times as well as good. We have built relationships that to me can never be torn down. Even those who have walked from me hoping my life turns out in shambles. These folks will never know even if I were to tell them the impact they have had on my life. That is why I weep.

I weep over pain, happiness, struggle, love, laughing, shouting; over the relationships that have been built. Some stand stronger than others. But true relationships cannot be broken by a word or deed. Where true love exists, it’s a three chord strand, and is not easily broken. Watching these people move on has made me weep.